EPI 13: Bipolar: I’m Tired Of Pros And Gurus Telling Me What I “Should” Do
Welcome to the Bipolar Excellence Podcast, Episode 13, I’m Tired Of Pros And Gurus Telling Me What I Should Do. This is another episode in the Life Of An Outsider series. You’ll find the link that a series in the footer of my website, bipolarexcellence.com.
All right, so this is a vicious little topic.
You desperately need help. And there’s more than enough people, an ample amount, out there, ready to take your credit card to help you. I’m one of them.
Full disclosure, the difference being, there is a subset of gurus who think their way is the only way, and it might suit you. But when they’re inflexible like that, I wonder. And when you’re hiring someone, including me, when you’re hiring someone, if they’re dead set on something and it ain’t talking to you? Save your money and your sanity and don’t bother and pick somebody else.
Somebody that’s going to lead you through problem solving is, is going to have a way they’ll have a way of doing things. I do. I have systems that I swear by that worked excellent for me. But I’m fully aware some of the things I’ve done won’t work for you at all, or not as well, or you’re simply not in a position to use these tools and systems that I’ve developed.
I get that. There are still ways we can work together and get something done for you that helps you accelerate the creation of your project and launch it into awesomeness and whatever it is you want to do with it, send it, send it out to the world, build your new career, make your dreams come true.
There’s so many ways we can come at this. I will never tell you what you should do. I’ll show you what it is I’ve done. I’ll lead you down different paths of what worked for me. But if I see something as I’m coaching you, counseling you, advising you that this isn’t… what I got, ain’t matching. I know of other ways to go.
I know of other people I’ll send you to, and I’ll send you to gladly. We’ll make whatever necessary adjustments from there. It’s my job to make sure I help you. Any good leader should. Now granted, there’s going to be certain industries and areas where there is a way of doing it. And it is the only way. And if that’s what you’re pursuing, then it comes down to picking the proper pro or guru to tell you what you should do. And that is how you should do it.
But since we’re not talking brain surgery here with what I’m offering, there’s no shoulds involved. Everything is a gray area. It’s awesome because there’s potential and options at every turn. I like looking for those different turns we can take and to what’s under that carpet over there, that we forgot to look at. OOO! It’s an answer. I love doing that with people.
So if you meet, if you meet or pay some guru, and this is how you should do it, my God. I’ve done that more times. And when it doesn’t work, you feel like you’re the problem. You feel stupid or they make so obvious what’s lacking in you, you’ll wonder why you ever threw the money out in the first place.
I used to feel that way with different things. Or I would just feel flat out frustrated. I wouldn’t feel down on myself, but I was like, well, there’s three grand I just spent for coaching and I have no freaking clue what to do with it, or I couldn’t make sense of it. I’ll tell you this much, you learn something from all of it.
It’s all valuable. The cost of learning the particular lessons is the only thing that changes, but it’s all worth it. Even when you fuck up and spend scads of money you didn’t have in the first place to learn something you can’t use now or ever, you learn something. Trust me. It’s the turtle, not the hare.
A lot of these lessons you learn as you’re building out your project, they’re not learned til there’s enough of them stacked up and you can see them in conjunction with other events. Or contrasted by other events. And you finally get the ultimate lesson in those mistakes you made.
Mistakes aren’t really ultimately, mistakes. They’re all things you needed to learn about. They’re just not a way you’d care to learn. You’d want it to be more pleasant. You’d want your money to go further immediately. You’re not going to get that.
The faster you can accept that you’re going to make these kinds of mistakes or, or you’re going to make assumptions that don’t prove to be true, has nothing to do with the leadership, it’s all about your assumptions on what you read into it, due to your excitement or your desperation.
There is a very important lesson. Do nothing out of desperation. Untold amount of experience speaking to you right now. It’s disgusting. When you realize how much you did purely out of desperation. When if you’ll listen to a few people and either slowed your role or not even made certain moves at all, kept that credit card in your pocket, you would have been much happier with yourself.
You might’ve actually accelerated your growth or your ability to build your project. I don’t know. I’m just telling you, when you realize how many times you did something hoping… it’s Shiny Object Syndrome. Ooh. Maybe that’ll help me. Ooh. Maybe that’ll help me. Oh, that guy has got the answer. Oh, she can tell me what to do.
And the money goes and goes and goes and no growth, no tangible growth, no income, no people help. No people entertained comes out of any of it. There comes a point when you really gotta be honest with yourself. Why do I keep doing this? When you have that moment of awareness, you will figure out a more intelligent, more measured approach that will actually increase your confidence and your self-esteem.
That’s something I can help you with quite a bit. It’s something that… I’ll give you two tools in this one. There’s Holosync through centerpointe.com that’s Center Point with an E on the end. Go do that and you’ll achieve a lot of this without ever having to meet me once. There’s also a system called Kolbe, K O L B E.
Kolbe is a… I guess you’d call it a strengths test. It merely lays out how you act, how you do things regardless of how you think about them, regardless of how you feel about them. It’s called conation. Conative skills. You have a way of acting regardless of any other variable in certain situations, in any situation.
Kolbe will break it down into four different categories of life. And the scale that they work with in each category is either, you’re at one end, where you should never be doing this thing ever at all. Someone else should. Or the middle, where you can tolerate it for a certain amount of time and do well, but you can’t stay in it. Or you excel at it and you should always be doing this kind of thing.
That’s a very rough explanation. There’s no good or bad. There’s no right or wrong. It’s just how you are proven to act. It’s a very, very fast test. Doesn’t cost that much. Go to Kolbe.com. Take that test. It’s called their Index a. You will simply see how you act and there’s no arguing with it. When you get the results, it will blow your mind.
There’s no arguing with it. You’ll be like, yeah, this is, in fact, how I’d act in that situation. It doesn’t matter what you know about it and how you feel you should do something. It doesn’t matter how you feel about it, right or wrong. You’ve just been proven to do things in this way, in this area. When you know what that is, you’ll pick better leaders, better pros and gurus.
And when those guys tell you what you should do, it’s correct. You need to know you before you can trust them. So there’s a couple little gifts from me to you on that, that you can use, whether or not you ever call me.
Should you want to call me, you can figure out how to do that on bipolarexcellence.com.
There’s a slot, Work With Ken. Click that and do whatever you’re going to do. And regardless, I’m glad you spend this time with me. It’s my desire to do as much good in this world, with what it is I know how to do as possible, because I dig the hell out of it. It’s how I wantto live. I want the same for you in whatever it is that you’re trying to put out into the world.
All right guys, be well .