EPI 20: Bipolar: Hypocrisy: I Know How You Can Do Things I Haven’t Even Done
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Welcome to the Bipolar Excellence Podcast Episode 20: Hypocrisy: I Know How You Can Do Things I Haven’t Even Done.
All right. I’m working with someone right now on that, where that’s the key focus.
If you are somebody, this isn’t going to apply to all of you, if you’re somebody where your dream or purpose is to help other people, you’re going to run into people that are doing all kinds of things better than you.
They’re further along in life than you are. They’ve solved problems you haven’t yet solved. They’re successful at something you can’t even understand. They made way more money than you. In every way, shape and form they’re doing better than you. But why did they find you?
If you’ve done your job right, you’ve put your self out into the world and they were drawn to that. And that is key. When you’re trying to help somebody, regardless of all they’ve achieved, what they’re really looking for is a fresh perspective. That’s you. And that’s it.
You don’t have to beat your brains out trying to figure out how it is they do what they do and how to get up to speed, match them at their level. That’s not why they’re talking to you. There’s something about you. And really this applies to anything.
There’s something about you that you do that appeals to them and that thing? They don’t have. They either want it in their world, with you through you, or they want to know how to do it from you. They want to become it. They might simply want an unfiltered opinion. They want someone to talk to them straight.
When you just be a person with somebody else and give them your opinion based on your experiences, you’re going to change their worldview. You’ve just added your perspective to whatever they’re doing without even knowing how to do what it is they do. And it’s going to cause them to change for the better, in a way that brings them whatever reward.
You don’t need to be anything other than yourself for that to take place. I experienced that, a bunch of years ago when I was at this place called the Seven 21 Media Center, it’s in Kingston, New York. I went to this place because I’d been interviewed on a local TV station.
Had a website at the time and I wanted to put the video of this interview on the website, but they gave it to me in a format I didn’t have the tools to use. I needed it reformatted. I go in the… I might’ve even gone in the Yellow Pages this was so long ago… I find the Seven 21 Media Center. They do this kind of work. I just picked them out of a list somewhere and I knew they were close.
I go there and as I’m explaining what I need done, which was easy-peasy, it was nothing for them. They could do it. There was two men, much older than me, both of them, much, having a conversation. They were deep in it.
The guy that was working there turned out to be the owner’s father. He took a shine to me right away. We just kinda got into this big conversation about what it was I had in my hand that I was giving to him and why.
And the other guy was listening off to the side. It later turns out he was negotiating for rental space in this large building. That guy took an even bigger shine to me. And after I was done with my business with the first guy, the second guy said, I’d really like to talk to you more now that I, you know,, I heard what you were saying.
We were all just right there. It was just the three of us in an office. And that kicked off one of the most bizarre four years of my life that I’ve ever been part of. That I’ve ever done. And a lot of what happened in it is part of my goals to get, I need to get back into it on a professional level. So why did I even bring that up?
I can’t remember. Let’s see. Okay. Experiences. See, there you go. You don’t have to be awesome at any of this. Just keep moving. I just kept moving right there in your ears. The experiences I had at this place kept expanding. And as more people learned about me, they wanted me to be part of whatever they were doing.
Or they at least wanted my opinion. Or they found me interesting enough, they’d let me in their world, let me watch what they did. This building was full of media companies and musicians and internet people, and artists. It was a commune of creativity.
And to be a rentee in the building, you had to agree to a certain amount of give and take with the rest of the tenants.
It was fantastic! And the more people found out about me… and I didn’t know really anything about any of this stuff… they just would come and ask me my opinion anyway. And a lot of times I’d take away the focus from whoever it was that I was working for. I’d become the main bit of interest and, and like, I could never really, I loved it.
I didn’t really question it to like where it stopped me at all. But at some point I would. I’m like, what am I doing here? I got invited… I would sit in on meetings where the whole room was millionaires, other business owners in our town. And I’m helping decide what happens in our fair sized city. I don’t know why I’m there.
I found out later, whoever brought me just, they just wanted me there so they could talk about it with me later. None of this ever brought me a dime of income, but it was one of the hugest learning situations I’ve ever experienced. The most varied. And all these years later, I never knew for the longest time, what the hell do I even do with what happened to me?
I had to get out of that. I had to get out of it. I was turning into sort of like a fan boy. And I was starting to embarrass myself with this understanding. Everybody was cool and they loved having me. There came a point when it was diminished returns on my part.
And I wasn’t even so much of a help to so many people. I believe because I was growing beyond the role I had been playing all that time, ignorantly, unawares, and realize I should be much more. Which I guess now I think about it, that’s episode 18, Happy Where I Am, But Feel I Am More,
I guess I eventually reached that point through that experience. And it was a multitude of experiences. I got to learn from so many varied personalities and so many varied contexts, a lot of which had to do with media.
And some of which had to do with real-world stuff, with helping people that had nothing to do with media, that I now have that bulk of experiences when somebody is talking to me and looking for help, it gives me more context to pull from and more direct experience to pull from, where I can offer some sensible advice.
I can offer the calming hand on the back, so to speak. I can make sense of the madness they might be in, because I lived that for those four years. I was part of a soup kitchen, got involved in the middle where I was a volunteer. There was a halfway house for felons that I became like a consultant with.
It just kept going! And I couldn’t believe how much was happening to me and how cool it all was. It just wasn’t turning into anything that could feed me. I have all that in my head to give context to how I give advice or how I ask questions of the people that come to me and they’re trying to fix something in their world.
I wasn’t a pro at any of that stuff. It didn’t turn into anything for me career wise. Directly. And yet it did because it got me here now in your ears. I now have loads of things to say about all kinds of stuff that I am not an expert at… and in some cases barely understand.
There was just the experience and the personalities involved and that’s what I use to shape my replies and my conversations with people who come to me who are way ahead of me in the pecking order of life.
Doesn’t matter that they’re ahead of me. That’s not what they’re looking for. Then want my opinion. They want to see if I can understand certain aspects of what they’re doing. I don’t need to understand the whole puzzle.
That is going to be you, even if what you do is not advice giving because you’re always giving advice. Whatever you do, whatever level you’re at, you’re doing it better than a lot of the people that come your way. You’ll be able to help those people. So it will still apply to you even if you’re not a coach or consultant.
Yeah, I like that one. All right, I’m going to end it right there. You guys be well, see you one the next episode.