EPI 26: Bipolar: I Hate What I Do But Can’t Get Out
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Welcome to the Bipolar Excellence Podcast. Episode 26. I Hate What I Do, But Can’t Get Out. This is part of the Life Of An Outsider Series. You’ll find in the footer of the website, BipolarExcellence.com.
This particular topic has been the bane of my existence, oh, I’d say pretty much since I ever had my first job as a kid.
I think so. I had a lot of, I had a lot of yard cleaning jobs and shovelin’ jobs growing up in the seventies and eighties. Mostly the seventies with that stuff actually. And it was all brutal physical labor. And I didn’t always like what I was doing, but I liked doing a good job. That’s a theme that has stuck with me all the way into present time.
I mean, I guess my dad hammered that into me, one of his things was if you’re going to do it, half-assed, don’t do it at all. So and then probably due to Marine training and a number of other things. If I got to do something, even if I hate it, I at least don’t want anybody questioning the quality of my work.
So there is a tip, even if you’re stuck doing something shitty, at least do it well, because that speaks to your character and it’s, and it’s a skill to develop. That’ll help you eventually get out of the thing you can’t get out of.
I have always hated being an employee. That’s not to say that there weren’t good times. There are, I’m still an employee now, although I’m very close to not having to be anymore. And where I’m at now is more closely related to what I’m doing with you guys here. Thank God. And that’s another, that’s another lesson.
Maybe whatever you’re doing. Maybe you can do a lateral move in some other fashion go to go to find a job that is just more suitable to whatever your personal characteristics are in, in your wants and desires and goals and dreams. Something that matches all of that better. It’s not going to be a dead on match, usually.
It might be. What I found was over the years, like I’ve had 50, some odd jobs. I’ve lost track. The one I’m on now might be number 54. I can’t remember anymore. I got them written down somewhere. That’s a cool thing I got to find and, and put on the website just so you can see what someone like me has gone through, to learn what’s necessary to help you guys get through your stuff. Just just me.
You don’t have to do like I did, but I got a feeling more than a handful of you are probably in the same boat. We, we try a lot of things and we, I, I know, back to myself, I know I kept thinking if I find the, the correct job for myself, I’d be happy.
Now there’s some truth to that. Does not apply to me, but I know there are people that have jobs that absolutely adore what they do. They wake up highly enthusiastic. Can’t wait to do what they do. It’s usually a very cool thing that’s good for everyone else they come in contact with. That’s awesome. I just could never pin that thing down.
There’s jobs of that sort that I know I’d be good at, but they never would pay me what I want. Or what would be required of me, even though I could do the job, to qualify on paper for the job, I don’t, I don’t feel like doin’.
And then the jobs are, they demand a lot of you. There’s like there’s production goals, whether you’re dealing with tangible objects or not, they want to see something for their money.
And I learned a long time ago, that is a shit way to live. You can be highly valuable and not have to have every ounce of value wrung out of you every second of every day, in order for your masters to pay you.
The lesson there is you have masters. You can do the exact same thing you’re doing right now, but do it for yourself. Become self-employed.
Now here, there’s a caveat. You have to be careful. One of the biggest mistakes people make that open a business, doing whatever it is they love, there’s the doing of the thing. And then there’s the running the business for doing that thing. And they, those two things are not the same.
There’s your skillset and the job itself, which you love doing. The business of running it involves taxes and all kinds of other paperwork and marketing and dealing with customers and clients. This is all a headache, often, for the person that likes to be in the shop, working on the lathe, making beautiful furniture or whatever.
So if you’re thinking of going to get out of what you do, if you’re thinking of going that road route, just be very aware of that thing. That’s not to say it’s not a wise move to make. It may be perfect for you. Educate yourself ahead of time.
Find out what it really takes to run a business before you pull that pin, because you could grow to hate the thing you once loved. And you’re not going to make any money and you’re going to fail as a business person. And you’re going to have to go back to doing a job somewhere.
I looked at that years ago in my twenties and my thirties. I used to know a staggering amount about nutrition, a staggering amount. I’ve forgotten so much of that now. I remember the basics. Whatever I do with my nutrition now, I’m good with where it’s at. And I cover all my bases pretty well.
But I used to know a lot of details, a lot of chemistry, a lot of biology that I don’t anymore. And I was also big into lifting weights. But I mean, I still am, but I used to just, all I wanted to do was lift weights. And it made sense to put those two things together and become a personal trainer. And I looked into all of that and realized I could do that easily.
On a side note for you bipolar folks. When I was first trying to figure out how to manage my bipolar. Cause at the time I didn’t think I could beat it. You can beat it. I got some things to say about that on my website too, at bipolar excellence.com.
I didn’t know what was causing it. So I went and sat with a nutritionist for three hours. We picked apart everything possible. And when we were done, she’s like, you’re telling me you’re not a dietician, a nutritionist. I’m like, no. She’s like, you should be you, you you’ve answered questions for me I didn’t have answers to.
You, you know more than me. How are you not certified in this? Cause everything you said was correct. I said, ya know didn’t interest me. I just wanted to know just for my own good.
Now there’s another lesson.
I believe it would behoove you, to, you’ve got to dig. You’ve got a, if you’re not already a seeker, you’ve got to act more like one and you got to start lifting up rocks and seeing what’s underneath them, going around corners, heading down roads you’ve never gone down before.
And in respect to research. You don’t know what you don’t know, and that’s why that’s part of why you’re stuck, where you are.
You need to learn more about yourself and you need to learn more about ways of making money and, and careers and industries that exist that you currently don’t. And the only way to do that is to start just looking into what it is you wish you could do and start finding what the real life counterparts to these desires, where they exist as a career.
Research has saved me more times than I could count. And it keeps me moving along. You can’t, you can’t hope and wish and pray for a better life. Do that, but then get your ass up and do some work. Find, find your answers. Find people online and in real life that have a life that matches the way you want to live and or career that you’d like to have and just see how to do it. Pick them apart.
Here’s a big tip, read biographies and autobiographies of anybody, anybody who succeeded. Because even if the career or the goals they succeeded at in specific didn’t don’t suit, you, what they did to overcome their limitations and their stuckness will apply to everybody in any situation.
I’m very big on biographies and autobiographies. Another thing is if keeping it on that topic, if you read the stories of people that don’t appeal to you, you’re going to learn fresh perspectives because they succeeded at something you haven’t. Even if it’s in a field that doesn’t interest you.
What it takes to succeed, come up from down low and reach up high, it’s a very similar path. And then reading other people’s stories, you’re going to find out about hurdles they had that mimic yours. They’re the same.
And you’re going to find out how they overcame them. And at the very least, your mind will be jogged. New perspectives will be opened to you and you’ll you’ll then know how to go down new roads.
You’ll know how you should feel and think about going down new roads and you’ll learn where to find them. A lot of your answers are not going to be found in whatever it is you already know and like.
You’re going to have to branch out into completely different areas and look into other people’s lives that have never meant anything to you before, even if you don’t like what they do. A lot of power in that.
The other thing is you got to do your best to not shit all over your self esteem and your peace of mind when you’re stuck doing something you hate. It’s very easy to do those two things. The antidote to feeling bad about anything is action.
Keep your self esteem high. Know that this is not you. You made some decisions that landed you where you are, and it ain’t working.
But even by doing that, you’ve learned some valuable lessons. I don’t know what they are. It could be anything under the sun. Everything you do is part of the bedrock that makes you a better you, if you keep acting on it. If you keep trying to just develop further as a person.
You will also put out an energy to the world that will appeal to certain people whose help you need. And they’ll reach out to you with an offer or they’ll know somebody that’s looking for help or, or has a job in the area that you just talked about or even complained about.
But you need to keep your, your, your aura’s gotta stay strong and clear. I don’t know if clear is the right thing with an aura, but you, you want your energy, let me just say energy, you want it to be strong and positive and you want to convey your value and self-worth just as a feeling, just as an intention whenever you’re speaking to anybody.
People don’t want to take on somebody who’s depressed and needy. You’re just asking for a headache. So even though you are probably feeling that way at your job, I only did about a three dozen times or more, you have to leave that behind and, and, and dig in and find some kind of strength and lead with that when talking to anyone in relation to getting out of where you’re stuck.
That’s the energy that’s gonna, that’s gonna do the trick. On a final note. If you’d like some free help with this, on my website, bipolar excellence.com I’ve got an 11 page PDF called Is Bipolar Disorder A Gift?
There’s I’ve got that thing fairly full of resources that will address everything I just talked about to get the ball rolling. It’s free. Just go over there and sign up for the newsletter and go and get that copy. You don’t even have to do everything that’s in that report.
I kept it as lean as I could so you wouldn’t be overwhelmed, but even then you might still be overwhelmed. So just grab whatever the one or two things are to get your interest the most and go from there. Should you want my help would working on any of these things. Look me up later when you’re ready and we’ll go from there.
All right guys. On to the next episode.