EPI 37: Bipolar: I’ve Found My Purpose But It’s Not Supporting Me
As if discovering one’s path in life wasn’t hard enough, all by itself. What if you need it to feed you? Welcome to my world!
Listen: the purpose part is the harder of the two. The rest is just proper sales and marketing, while aligning it all to your core principles and beliefs.
You can do this! But it probably will not happen as fast as you’d like. Patience is a bitch to learn, but learn it we must.
Just click the “READ MORE” text below for the transcript!
Welcome to the Bipolar Excellence Podcast. I’m your host, Ken Jensen. I’m someone who overcame bipolar disorder in an organic fashion back in 2004.
That process taught me a couple of things about bipolar. I was living life so incorrectly, in relation to what the better part of me wanted and needed me to do that it took bipolar disorder to shock me into seeing I should go another way.
The fact that it was bipolar that was the change agent meant I’m more creative than most. I have a certain, slightly higher amount of intelligence than the average bear.
And I have a way of seeing life and expressing myself that most around me do not, in such a way that I can have great impact on those who need me most.
You might be the same. I want to help you understand this about yourself, and I want to help unlock your greatness and then unleash it on the world in the best and coolest way possible.
Hello, bipolar prone folk. Welcome to Episode 37: I Found My Purpose But It’s Not Supporting Me.
Look up Episode 37 on bipolarexcellence.com. I’ll have the show notes there, the transcript, links to anything I might mention in this episode and whatever else belongs on a webpage but not inside a podcast episode.
Okay. If you’re following along off the back of episode 36, I think what was screwing me up was I was starting to bleed into this topic because I was, as I was preparing for the night, the shows I wanted to create for, for the night, I was, I had them both in my head at the same time.
And I was starting to get a little messy on episode 36, bleeding into this one. So. As I said at the end of that one, keep moving, keep moving. There’ll come a time with practice and monetary success and the right friends. You’ll find people to help you to create more… higher quality material, less, less mistakes, or you’ll have an editor.
I have none of those things. So this is what you get. I want you to understand you do the best you can. I have quite an extensive system in place here, but, I’m, I’m, I’m painfully aware of all kinds of things I wish were better. Presented better than I do. And, uh, I made up my mind that I’m not going to give that much a shit about them.
I’m just going to keep moving, which is what I always tell you guys to do. Things come to you in time. It’s more important that you just keep producing and looking for the people that you want to help most. And then helping them the best you can.
That’s what I do with this show. If we never meet, I’m hoping I’m saying something in these episodes that flips a switch for you to the better.
One day, if I ever crossed paths with you or you, send me an email years later, and I have no idea who you are and we’ve never worked together. And you just tell me something like that. One time you said that thing, and then this happened and it was awesome. Thank you.
I’ve done that with people. I hope I’m doing my job well enough that some of those things will happen coming from your way to me.
Okay. On that note, I’ve found my purpose, but it’s not supporting me. Yeah. Yeah. I live that still. As, as somebody developing a coaching business, it scared me to want to honestly say that because like, why would you hire a guy that isn’t making enough money coaching, right?
Well, it’s because I know how to coach. The rest is really marketing and getting better at how I share my message.
I know how to do all that shit too. It’s it’s, it’s a weird, uh, What do you call it? Not, I mean, it’s ironic, it’s a parallel universe. You live in both at the same time as you’re growing. And I, I decided after looking at everything, I know what I’m about. I know I’m I know what I’m worth. I know within the next year, within the next six to nine months, I know how awesome my future’s going to look. Because I’ve been studying this for decades, this, this kind of stuff, this way of living and building a business.
And there’s things happening in my life that are making it more clear to me all the time, I’m on the right track, even if I’m not economically where I need and want to be. I’m still not happy about it, but I choose to focus on having faith in myself, based on all the wins I’ve collected up to this point that were seemingly impossible.
Now that’s that’s me. That’s me for me. And in my dealings with other people who are not my coaching clients. I do coach people. I have a separate job life, and I’m improving that all the time because I have to. I’m not where I want to be yet as a private coach, but I will be pretty damn soon. There’s a lot of really cool shit lining up.
I, I, it’s got a really cool vibration to it. I’m being introduced to people all the time that are, uh, just incredible. And they’re coming from they’re coming from, within my network from places that you, you, you would be, I’m, I’m blown away. I’m like you, you know that guy? Or you have access to that, that facility? Or, you know, it it’s, I’m amazed!
The more I talk. The more, that really cool things and potentially good things are coming out of people’s mouths to me. Because other people know people, but they don’t know what you need until you talk more. That’s why I’m doing this without any fear about, you know, the, the ways in which I know I should and could be doing better.
And the fact that I’m not worried about the fact that if you look at what I’m all about, and don’t want to hire me cause you’re not seeing success of other, you know, I don’t have any testimonials on my site right now of all the clients I’ve helped. But in my real life I do. So what does that mean? You don’t know me. The way I do this show is you getting to know me.
I’m your guy for some of you, and you’re going to know, and you’re not going to need that other proof to make your decision valid. You’re going to hire me. I have experienced this as well. There’s people I’ve hired to help me with a number of things over the years. I only, they said something. I’m like, that! I need that!
And I was in I didn’t pick apart. I usually pick apart people’s websites, but not always, or I only go just so deep if I’m really sold on what somebody’s saying, and it can be about anything I need help with. I just like that person. I’m hiring them. There’s some people that have been brought my way where there’s nothing to pick apart.
They have very little online presence. So in that respect… or, or, or the online presence they have is shit. There’s people I know who have worked with other people and companies, the work they have done is, is on a humongous scale. There’s a lot of frigging money involved. And when you look those people up online, their online presence is shit.
If all I knew was what they had online, I wouldn’t hire ’em, I’d run from ’em. But because of who I found out about them from and what I knew they were doing, I knew they were good. And then I’d hire these people. So. Again, I keep moving, as I’m constantly saying, you guys should. Just keep moving, keep growing, keep building, keep sharing yourself, keep putting your energy out there.
And the people that you were meant to meet are going to meet you. And some of them are going to hire you. And I’m just, I’m just calming my nerves with that because that’s where I am at right now.
And I’m not worried about it. Some of you are my people. And it’s going to be very cool when we meet and push that go button together, as I help you build out whatever your huge vision is.
I have been involved in so many large scale productions, with so much involved, that paid me nothing. Because I, I just, I find myself in certain situations and they’re like, you want to take part? Oh yeah, I’ll do that. I’ve done acting myself. I’ve been part of a commercials. Um, I’m in a S uh, uh, what do you call it?
I’m in a, uh, for a TV show that hasn’t been made yet. But what happened just that weekend with that crew… people came from all across the country to our nearest large town to film this thing. The more I talked to everybody involved, I couldn’t believe where the investors came from, the investors came out of Texas.
I met another former Marine who was an actor. He came all the way from California. I’m in New York. To be in this thing that as far as I could tell, there was no money anywhere. The film crew came from Ohio, et cetera, et cetera.
And then at the, at the showing, which took like two years later, I met more people in the room that were part of this production, which as far as I can tell so far, it hasn’t gone anywhere, but.
I’m with these people and I’m doing stuff and I love it. These things are aren’t that often. And, and they’re varied, what happens to me. I’ve hung out with Brad Douriff at a music video I was part of. Because the, I call him a kid only cause he’s so much younger than me.
I helped a kid at the time he, I needed videos on YouTube. I had no money. I knew nothing about making videos at that time, going back a lot of years, like 20 years, I don’t know. And, uh, at least 15 and through a extremely thin and delicate string of connections I meet this kid. We only found out, once we started working together, he lived yards up the street from me.
I’d never seen him before. And if I’d had, I would’ve known that he did videos, it’s insane. And this kid and I made a, cause he was like 17, I think at the time 18, we must’ve made a hundred videos together. Fast-forward well over a decade later. And, um, I’m hanging out with Brad Douriff. The voice of Chucky, the guy that’s been in hundreds of movies.
He was that one scientist in one of the last, uh, Alien movies that was in love with the alien, um, mother. And, you know, he killed them in the end and he was like insane. And just loving the alien. Like I’m hanging out and shooting the shit with that guy!
While he’s filming another section of this music video, which I never found out why he was even part of it. And I think I forgot to ask. I hung out with his girlfriend and she told me his entire life story for an hour. This is Brad Douriff. Look ’em up.
Things like this happen to me with enough regularity that it became clear to me, my purpose was within that, making that a regular occurrence in my life. And the kinds of people did that kind of work.
It it’s, there’s not a lot of them. It’s it’s a fringe group. It’s the, it’s the arts it’s it’s media. It’s movie-making. It musicians. I mean, there’s a lot of people that do that, but I guess when you think, how many people just go punch a clock, compared to the creative people that are building something from a vision from their heart. There’s not as many of them.
And I, I keep finding them and this podcast is so that I can find more of them. Now. I haven’t reached where I want to go. I don’t have the clients I want yet. But I, I do have them in other ways in my working life. And I’m getting better at that all the time.
So, if you’re still struggling to support yourself with what your purpose is, maybe you can find a way to use whatever it is, you’re that your purpose is, inside a time clock punching job. Now I know that’s easier said than done. So let me, let me add kind of like a, I guess a caveat.
I only recently matched my dream job, which is coaching you super cool people building really cool visions that are going to have a great impact on the world for the better, with what I do as a, as an employee.
I wanted to quit what I was doing as an employee entirely. ‘Because, ah man. This takes so long to tell. It wasn’t where I wanted to be. It wasn’t doing what I wanted to do. But it was next to it.
And to make more money, I’d have to get more and more certifications, which is a lot of effort. A lot of lost sleep. As a former bipolar person, I protect my sleep. I found out if I don’t get enough sleep… if that’s open-ended… bipolar will start creeping in again. My body, my mind can’t take lack of sleep for too awful long.
As long as I get the sleep I need, or know when the, when I can get back to it, I can gut it out until I reach that point. I’m not going to disintegrate. But my mind will start sending me warning signals, like you better wrap this shit up quicker. I’m about to pull that shit I did way back when.
Alright. All right, I’m going. I’m going. So. I wanted to leave all work forever and just go full-time coaching. That’s still my dream, but it’s just not, it’s not coming to be that way. So recently I was already working in a halfway house and coaching people unofficially and doing quite well with it.
The feedback I got from my guys, the feedback I got from coworkers that were above me on the coaching, uh, scale. Lead me lead me to believe like, maybe I should just push this harder. I’m in it anyway. If I could have left it already and gone full-time coaching with Bipolar Excellence, I would have, and it’s not happening.
Not like not as fast as I want. So I’m going to do better with this because I’m even better at it than I thought I was. I’ve said before. I w I’m a, I’m a coach who prefers to coach people from a, doing fine, going into awesome.
To do the kind of coaching I’m doing now, which is recovery coaching, it’s people that are not doing fine. And they’re hoping to just be regular. I really did not want to get into that any more than I had to and split my energy and focus when, you know, from the thing I wanted to do.
But I realize it’s, I don’t have a choice. I also realize these two types of coaching are almost identical. I learned that in all my training.
So to switch from a more therapeutic and helping someone, someone up out of the hole to helping someone standing firmly on the ground who want to climb a mountain, it takes very little effort. And I don’t have to undo any training to do the training I want to do. So I just decided to embrace that recently.
And I’m doing everything New York State wants to satisfy their requirements so that I can officially do what I already, uh, awesome at unofficially. And, uh, outta nowhere I got two job offers out of that.
I had to actually, I signed up for one and then actually found out I had somebody working on my behalf within my own agency who told me, told me nothing about this, on a higher level of management than I knew existed, for a job I’d never heard of.
It turns out I’m perfect for it. I just had to get certified. So I dropped the other job, which would have started tomorrow and just rolled those dice. Cause the, the, the agency I worked at, they didn’t confirm that they were going to do anything with me too, but it looked like they would.
And I’m wrapping that up this week. And far as I can tell, I’ll be doing that work this week, or very soon. I’m just going for it and it matches what I’m about. And I still love helping people. And even though I don’t want to do therapy type coaching, I’m pretty fucking good at it.
And it is a, an immense pleasure for me to know, I said, said or did something to help people out of these disastrous life circumstances as best I can, wherever I’m able.
It’s nice to give people hope. Because I needed it so bad at one time. So if you’re struggling to support yourself with your purpose, maybe take a look and see if there’s a way of merging the two. Like, like I just did, you might not have a choice.
Like I don’t. And again with everything else I got going on in my life, to include this new fo, this new perspective on, on having a job I’m doing better and everything’s getting better. And other resources are being brought my way, I’ve already found out that I never would have had, had I not upped my efforts on the job side.
It’s, it’s bizarre how the universe works. There’s not just the fact that I can get paid more per hour and do a job that’s closer to what I’m good at, before doing the big vision career, which is this coaching on Bipolar Excellence.
It’s like, because I’m putting forth the effort, there’s other… I have a chance to go in front of something that’s kind of, kind of like a chamber of commerce, for just the mental health field. I don’t know all the details yet, in which they want me to pitch my website, my book, my courses, my coaching services.
They look for that and they always have a dearth of people to fill that post at these meetings. So I didn’t know that existed. Had I not pushed harder on becoming better at the job and getting higher qualified, I would’ve lost out on a primo chance to share the thing that’s going to yank me right back out of that job.
Hopefully soon! There’s other things I’m not free to talk about it. It’s like a switch got thrown. Multiple switches, got thrown. Other opportunities got offered to me within my job arena, once I expressed my desire to become something more in it, with the full understanding I have no intention of staying there because I’m going private coaching.
I’ve said that on two job interviews now. Where do you see yourself in five years? Not with you! Didn’t say those words, but I’m like, I’m going to be a private coach. That’s my whole reason for being. They loved it!. You think, I thought they’d be afraid to hear that and be like, well, he’s going to leave us.
What are we going to invest time and energy and money into him for if he was just going to leave us? Turned out to be the opposite. It turned out to be a selling point in both jobs. That’s exactly what they wanted to hear.
I made the decision to say, fuck it. I’m not going to worry about it. I’m going to just be honest and tell them where I’m at. And that’s what came of it. Two job offers. Both were great. But one came with a lot of extra candy, once I had more talks with the people that already knew me.
I knew none of this before I pulled that trigger. So, that! Alright? Find a way in real life to do something close to what your vision purpose is. See if you can find a way to make them coincide.
That’s one thing I can offer you. It’s it’s working out stupendously well, for me. I don’t know if it will for you, if you want drop me an email over at bipolarexcellence.com. Let me know where you’re at, what you think about this, and I’ll answer you as best I can with what I know and see if we can find something better for you.
I’ll answer. Uh, you know, I’ll answer a question. You don’t get to hire me for that. All right, guys. All right. Hope to see you over on my contact page. See ya!